posts / undefined

A poem about code and loss of friendship.

I began writing this poem on , and completed it .

Hello world. It's a pleasure to meet you
I love you, for you are all that I have
You were there for me when I was feeling blue
Indentation, four spaces to a tab

Coding and tweeting are things I enjoy
Suddenly, why do I feel so void?
What I programmed was wrong, I'll wrap it in a try-catch
I thought we were immutable like a const in all caps

I'm not a novice's program. What the hell am I?
I'd hate to lose you, don't delete me please
I'm not a program, I'm human, with a need to cry
Human interaction, you make me feel at ease

Damn, I fucked up, I used an undocumented API
I don't know what this is, I used Function::apply
this instanceof Mistake, Blunder, and Error are all true
I feel like I'm monkey-patching a friendship with glue

I feel like a virus, I break everything I touch
I've only ever caused you problems and struggles
Still, you love and cherish me, you've done so so much
Even made me feel good with kisses and cuddles

I exported all my methods, consts, and even a class
One of them was a generator function
I'd never would've guessed they'd ditch me this fast
I'm so sorry, I can't bear this compunction

What I did was fucked up, but I don't think all is lost
Why might they think I'm a black hat?
You and few understood, the situation is as fragile as frost
I've lost all my friends, even the black cat

Oh garbage collector, please save me, console me
A temp var in block scope, how sad, how lonely
I'm an unused method, callback one last time
Like undefined behavior, I know I'm out of line

Please, please, GC, don't discard my memory
Free, free, release all but that region of me
Unload, clear your mind, spare some space
Alone and so sorry, but I know my place

Unhandled promise rejections are deprecated.
In the future, rejections will terminate the process.
My problems, they're like CSS: cascaded
Should've called .preventDefault(), now I'm reaping the losses

Intimate, down to the metal. Code committed, forked, and merged
You make me tremble, make me glitch. You make my voltage surge
You've rewired me, reprogrammed me, hacked me
Playing with firewall. Can't connect, error code 403

Sexy software sitting on silicon
Yuki, Haruka, Rin; they're all works of fiction
This whole situation is so dumb and so stupid
But you, somehow, you make me feel human

So taboo, so difficult to say aloud
Those events could be described in Markdown or HTML
It's ugly, I was shy to say it in front of a crowd
But I'll let everyone know if it means I won't have to say farewell

I'm sorry, I don't know what else to do, except await
Event listeners could've stopped it, it wasn't fate
Can we all heal? Probably not, only time will tell
This feels exactly like callback hell